Okay, stay with me on this one—because your happiness level is a crucial factor that dictates successful results with online dating. You’ve all probably seen the Harvard Continuing Happiness Project or the annual statistics about the Danes and Swedes being the happiest people in the world.
Why am I writing this? This has been on my mind for the past few weeks as a dating coach and former matchmaker. How exactly does your personal happiness affect your dating?
Okay, my smart customers, you’re like it’s so obvious. You cannot expect another person to make you happy if you are not happy. to agree. But read the 10 factors and think.
Two things forced me to write this:
1. Whether you are a customer of mine or just following me, you may notice that you can’t sign up and you won’t be able to see the pricing packages unless you have a 15 minute conversation with me. Yes, the call is free and really my chance to learn a bit about you—and whether we’re a good fit and I can help. Plus, I live for success — and 60%+ of my clients are in relationships, cohabiting, married, etc. Not a bad batting average.
And guess what? I can tell during this 15 minute conversation the chances of you being successful based on the information you give me. Yes. really. So it’s a screening process for me — and you won’t waste your money and time if I don’t fit. Because I won’t take you. It’s just me and my time is precious—as is yours. I’ll probably just point you in a different direction.
2. Yesterday, while walking 5 kilometers with Luna, the golden retriever and the happiest walking companion in the world, I had a conversation with one of my sisters. (I come from a big Irish family so there are a lot of us!). Bottom line, she’s messed up about her love life for the past year—here she is, a beautiful 50 year old, in great shape. But the things she’s doing won’t get her anywhere — since she’s not a customer, I can be super blunt!!! (To differentiate, customers who know me – I will kindly direct!).
And I asked her, Josie*, on a scale of 1-10, how happy are you in general? Josie paused, then said 6-7. OK, I told her, I can work with that. Yes, brothers get me for free.
If she had said 1-4, I would have said maybe you need a therapist—which I definitely don’t. But 7 — hell yeah, I can work with that. By the way, everyone who told me 10, I think they need therapy too. lol
So, have you taken a personal happiness test lately? Here are 10 things to think about:
1. Social relationships are really good for you*.
Why? Because loneliness kills. It creates isolation and misery.
2. Binging.
Ted Lasso, Yellowstone, The Diplomat, The Office, etc. for 3-4 hours each evening. Add these hours and think what you can do! Plus, again it cuts you off from people.
3. self care
Now, this doesn’t mean expensive massage/facial weeks. It can be as simple as scheduling a weekly lunch with a friend.
4. your health
It doesn’t have to start training for the New York Marathon. It could be trying a walking group, pilates, weight lifting, hitting 10,000 steps on your Fitbit. Endorphins feel so good!
5. Try something new every week.
I know my clients so well — some things they try are self defense class, painting, over 50 men basketball league, archery class. You know the big side benefit? You will also meet new people.
6. Choose quality over quantity.
It is the quality of your close relationships that raises your happiness quotient.
7. Give yourselves an account.
Hey, we’ve done it in our professional lives, raising kids—why not do it in our personal and love lives?
8. Step away and take a minute to yourself.
It could be reading. It could be meditation. It could be a restorative yoga class. Hi, I’m seeing more and more high powered men and women taking up yoga (when some used to laugh at it!).
9. go for it. Just do it. Ok, I borrowed a bit from Phil Knight here (just saw Air and loved it)—but regret doesn’t taste good. So what if you are high profile and your picture is on an online dating site? And does anyone see you? Well, they are on it too. Overcome these obstacles.
10. Know your self worth
If you know this, you won’t be insecure about dating and relationships. And what do I always say? Confidence is so sexy!
Happiness is important. Be happy with yourself before moving on to a relationship. Once you are there, call me! I really love my clients and what I do every day — it’s fun and never boring.
Oh, and I have a very fun article for you later this week. I found a very unique way to meet people on a trip to Europe last week!!!
love, laughter and happy dating,
Andrea McGinty and Luna
Want to do the 15 minute chat? Text me at 702-494-7344 and be sure to tell me your time zone.
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*I changed my sister’s name
*Partially from the Osher project