Chemistry is that elusive spark between people – scientists and psychologists are constantly studying the phenomenon and trying to come up with a formula. So far, chemistry prediction is no less mysterious than ever. In general, it is physical attraction and emotional attraction combined. (Although some may add intellectual appeal and I would disagree).
One of my teenage daughters laughs at me – maybe we’re at the movies and I’ll say something like “Oh, those two definitely go together” and she looks at me like I’m crazy but her friends giggle. Okay, it must be my occupational hazard to go back to correcting high school friends! Yes, my first marriage of a friend was at the age of 22 and of course, I was a bridesmaid.
Okay, let’s get to it–
1. It happens on the first date.
Maybe. But few and far between. Having worked with 40,000+ clients over 25+ years, my educated guess is date #3. Yes, you need attraction to get from date #1 to date #2, but don’t give up after one date. Attraction often becomes that elusive spark.
2. Inexplicably attracted to someone
It’s like a cute encounter. You close your eyes and there is something. Maybe a twinkle in her eye. His smile. You start chatting and you’re turned on by his Boston accent. She is weird and tells a silly story.
3. Body Language
This is your first date. Her shoulders are relaxed. Tilting his head as he listens. He immediately puts down his cell phone. Great eye contact. Unconsciously she flips her hair. good posture These are all positive signs of interest unlike crossed arms, frowning, looking at the clock or overusing gestures.
4. Time flies when you are together
And you don’t even remember what you talked about for 3 hours. If there is a lull in the conversation, it is comfortable. Amy told me on her third date with Mark, she told him “I don’t even know what to talk about afterwards because there are so many thoughts and questions swirling around in my head” and he laughed and said “me too”. This dinner ended with a 2 hour walk on the beach (I know, sounds corny but they were at Laguna Beach on a date). long kisses…. now engaged
5. you yourself
The date is so easy. you are you itself.
6. Laughter
Okay, everyone tells me they want a man with a sense of humor. But, there are so many types – goofy, witty, goofy, weird, self-deprecating, Ted Lasso, Seinfeld. It’s indescribable until you experience it with another person.
7. calm
sounds strange? Just this feeling of relaxed and natural.
8. Great listener
You talk, she really listens. and vice versa. There aren’t a million thoughts swirling in your head about what to say next. Both of you are present.
9. shared values
You can’t go on a first or second date and ask “What are your values?”. It comes out when you talk on a first date, text later, go on a second date. I don’t mean shared interests – sure, it’s great that you both golf or like the same indie movies. But shared values can take you all the way.
10. You don’t make sense on paper.
You read her dating profile. you are not sure But go for it. And you get along as if you were made for each other. In this section, follow your gut.
So, my last piece of advice: you see a potential date online. You are 50/50 on her. meet. B. True. Haim. It’s an hour and it just might be the love of your life!
Fun dating, be adventurous and positive.
Love,
Andrea
Founder, 33000Dates.com
Founder, It’s Just Lunch in 1991 (sold)
#chemistry of dating #tips for dating #Dating coach