Have you ever been on a date where everything seems fine and you think you’ve found the one? And then, poof, they disappear into nowhere.
It’s hard not to feel anything but rejected. I was definitely there. It’s something most of us have dealt with, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
Although being active and putting yourself out there is an essential first step to dating success, unfortunately, not every case will end in a hookup.
In these cases, it is often difficult to take the rejection personally, for although we may logically know that the other person has no personal vendetta against us, our emotions do not always line up with that conclusion.
So how do you resist taking such situations personally? Here are some helpful tips to consider when dealing with possible rejections during your next date!
it’s not you. it’s them
How a person treats others says a lot about himself. Even if the connection wasn’t there, a kind effort to bring closure to another person is definitely the honorable thing to do instead of a ghost.
However, many singles I work with struggle with being vulnerable and have found themselves running away from the first sight of confrontation. So I can understand their hesitation.
It is also important to remember that rejection is simply a part of life and a natural part of every process we go through. It is not about us as individuals, but about the circumstances or the factors involved.
Identifying with yourself at this time can help ease the burden of rejection and allow room for growth and new opportunities. Remember, rejection is not a personal attack on you; It’s just part of the journey. Keep pushing forward and believing in yourself.
Sometimes it doesn’t fit
Rejection can feel like a painful blow to our self-esteem, and it’s easy to take it personally, especially if you really love someone.
But it is important to remember that everyone has their own unique preferences, values and tastes.
Just because someone isn’t interested in what you have to offer doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Sometimes it just doesn’t fit, and that’s okay.
You still deserve love and respect. The key is to keep putting yourself out there, and your person will eventually find you.
By understanding that rejection is not a reflection of your self-worth, you can approach future rejections with a more positive and resilient attitude.
Focus on how they treat you, not your story about them.
Often singles I work with are so excited about the relationship chemistry that they focus on what looks good on paper. They have already built this person into their ideal life and future discussions about children and marriage.
It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement. However, it is important to see if a person’s actions match their words. If someone isn’t making the same mutual investment, then that’s a red flag.
Focus on being the voter; Before you pour your heart into someone, make sure they treat you like a priority.
If they are not, you need to be selective and realize that they are not right for you even if the chemistry is off the charts. Remember, a person’s lack of effort speaks louder than their words.
If you want more on how to navigate the beginning of a relationship, check out this video.
[Article Continued Below]
Focus on making yourself happy
Too often, we look for someone else to bring joy to our lives that we miss. Life is too short to put your energy in someone else’s hands.
Right now, you can build the life of your dreams and you don’t need another person to do it with you.
One of my clients shared how she had always wanted to be a singer, so we came up with plans for how she could start making her dreams come true.
She started singing lessons and then through her music, she met someone who liked to play jazz too! They fell madly in love with each other.
Happy people attract happy people. So write down things you want to explore and experience and do them yourself. You will develop inner confidence through your hobbies and interests and find other like-minded people.
Think of it as a form of self-care. The more you pour into your bucket, the more joy you will have. Even when someone rejects you, it doesn’t phase you one bit because you are living your best life.
Overall, online dating can be a very rewarding experience if you take the time to approach the process with a healthy mindset.
Although rejection may be inevitable at some point, don’t take it too personally and don’t read too deeply into the responses you receive or lack thereof.
It’s out of your hands and instead, focus on the things that make you feel better – try to engage in activities that bring a sense of joy during this journey and remind yourself that not everyone is going to be romantically interested – sometimes it’s just them and not you.
When thoughts arise, don’t intensify or stay with them for too long – understand what comes up for you, express it if necessary, and then let it go so you have room to move on to something else more productive.
And if you need support in feeling safer while online dating, Determine Discovery call with me Here.