09 September My boyfriend never buys me flowers
Love flowers but your boyfriend never buys them for you? This seems to be a common complaint among women. Maybe your girlfriend always gets flowers from her boyfriend or you’ve seen guys let girls build flowers in the movies. You start thinking … “Where’s mine?”
There are several reasons why a guy might not buy you flowers, which I will cover in the article. However, it is important to remember that not accepting flowers does not mean that your relationship is awful. Men often show their love in other ways and it is important to look at your relationship as a whole, not on one thing.
Reasons he will not buy you flowers
They are expensive
Flower arrangements can be expensive, especially if you get them delivered to someone’s home or workplace. Clearly there is nothing stopping him from buying a cheaper bunch at Trader Joe’s or another grocery store. But in general, nice bouquets from flower shops can cost money. He may prefer to spend money on other things, like taking you to dinner. If he is worried about money or he is just frugal then he may think they are too expensive to buy on a regular basis, especially since they are dying pretty fast.
They died
Personally I have never been a fan of flowers as gifts because I have to find something to put them in and then soon after, they die. I prefer a plant or succulent, which will last much much longer. So maybe your boyfriend sees them as a waste of money, even if you yourself like getting them.
You have different love languages
According to Gary Chapman there are five languages of love. they:
- Quality time (shared recreation)
- Confirmation words (hear words like “I love you” or “You’re so sexy”)
- Service actions (someone who does practical things for you)
- Gifts (someone gives you gifts)
If you feel disturbed because your boyfriend is not buying you flowers, ask yourself if your love language might be “gifts.” If you are the type of people who love to give gifts and you feel most loved when people buy you gifts, then it is very likely that this is your language of love.
Your friend may just not have the same love language as you. He may show his love for you in other ways, perhaps by repairing your car, making coffee for you in the morning or taking the dog for a walk when you are stressed. This will make him a “service man”.
He’s not romantic
It really depends on what kind of man you are dating, but there are men who feel uncomfortable with romance shows. If you’re the type who needs big romantic gestures in your life, then maybe it’s time to rethink your suitability. Otherwise, sometimes you have to accept that it’s just not something that is in their comfort zone.
He thinks flowers are only for special occasions
Many people associate flowers with special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries, or even as a post-battle “makeup” gift. Do you expect him to buy you flowers “just because” or he never gives you flowers at all, even on special occasions?
He should not defeat you anymore
Men sometimes buy flowers in the early stages because they are trying to woo the girl. They put a lot of effort in at first to try and beat you but once you become their girlfriend they feel comfortable and they do not feel the need to continue buying flowers.
He’s busy and busy
Maybe he is stressed at work or busy with other things that are happening in his life. Maybe the thought just did not cross his mind. If you know he’s under a lot of pressure, then it’s a good idea to let him go a little bit about these things.
Things are not going too well between you
Of course there is a possibility that things are not going well in your relationship. Maybe you have a lot of arguments or you feel he is moving away. Maybe he does not respond to your texts and has less time for you. If he does not feel happy in the relationship then maybe he does not feel motivated to buy you flowers or do other things for you.
He just was not educated that way
Men will learn these things from their fathers, peers and friends. If he was surrounded by men who never give flowers to their wives or girlfriends, then where would he learn to do that?
How to get him to buy you flowers
If you like having flowers at home and he does not buy them for you, then maybe it’s time to pamper yourself and buy yourself some flowers!
Alternatively, if you want him to buy them for you, then maybe it’s time to just say it straight, “next time it’s a special occasion, I really want some flowers as my gift. I love having flowers at home and they make me happy.”
Alternatively, if you want to keep it more subtle; The next time a family member or friend sends you flowers on your birthday, be sure to say how much you love receiving flowers.
Another way to do this is to go shopping with your friend and make sure to visit a flower shop or the flower aisle at the grocery store. Choose a few flowers for the house together and tell him how much you like flowers. Ask him what his favorite type of flower is and tell him which flower is yours. This way, he knows what kind of flowers to bring you and he will remember that you really like to get flowers at home.
The Bottom Line
At the end of the day, it’s important to look at how he treats you. If he is not buying you flowers but he is there for you, listening to you, spending quality time with you and demonstrating his love in other ways, then does it really matter much if he buys you flowers? If on the other hand your boyfriend never does something nice for you and you feel obvious then maybe it is better to think about whether you are suitable for the long term. Of course generosity also goes in both directions. Do you buy gifts for your friend or do small things to show that you care about him?