If it happens on the first date, guess what? It’s not going to get better. The vast majority of singles tend to be on their best behavior on the initial date and if you get weird and bad vibes at the beginning, move on. Hint: 128 million singles in the US should motivate you that you don’t have to compromise!
They have luggage
Doug, a 45-year-old CFO went on a date last week with an attractive woman who sounded great online. She was 15 minutes late and did apologize…then started ranting about her babysitter’s problems. Before they even ordered a drink. Then she explained how Her ex wasn’t involved at all with her two kids and missed a support check. Do you think life with her will get better? (Sure, this reminded me of a business mistake I made in my early years recruiting at It’s Just Lunch—I absolutely loved her, hired her, and was constantly looking for coverage When her personal life overwhelmed her – no, it never got better).
Anger management
A huge red flag. Lana, 53, was on a date with Ben. All was good until the waiter brought an “up martini”—he wanted it on the rocks. Lana told me his face was red, he spoke rudely and asked for a manager. Any ice cubes? This is one you don’t play games with — you see that kind of behavior and you immediately block that person from your life.
They ask too many questions/don’t ask questions
One is annoying, the other is uncomfortable. Rapid fire questions are an attempt to break boundaries and are not appropriate on a first date. Also, a date who doesn’t ask questions to talk only about yourself, is annoying or egotistical. Light conversation—movies, sports, books, interests—are solid first date topics.
You don’t like their jokes/sense of humor
Enough said—don’t change personality!
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They drank too much
What is too much? First date drinking. She drank 3 glasses of wine in an hour. Okay, maybe nerves. Maybe. Etiquette is usually one drink —- second cocktail if ordering dinner or appetizers.
Easily distracted/looking around the room
Constantly looking at their cell? Bad manners? Didn’t invest in a date? No eye contact? This person gets a hard pass and no second chance. Cell phone etiquette: ditch it. If you have a critical call in the next hour, let your date know, flip it and keep it on vibrate.
They arrive late without apology
We all know Friday night traffic can be bad. If you mean after more than 5 minutes, a message is appropriate. You are telling a person that their time has no value. My dad always says 10 minutes early is on time.
Yes, sometimes a second chance is okay—- you are not sure, he was a bit shy, she looked nervous. It’s OK. But basic manners are a must and it’s time to move on to your next date with someone new.
happy dating and happy sunday—
Love,
Andrea McGinty https://www.33000dates.com
702-494-7344
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